Norselaw -

Genre: Heavy Metal, Speed Metal, Fucking Metal
Label: Unsigned

Man, who would have thought that buying an album based entirely on pity would yield such positive results? Allow me to explain:

Norselaw himself apparently had a dispute with his then employer that ended with his (in my opinion, wrongful) termination. Having only recently lost my job due to similar but completely different circumstances, I decide to toss my fellow warrior a bone and bought one of his albums. He 'suggested Serpent In The Circling Sea' as it would play to my tastes... how this metal marauder knew such a thing is still a mystery to me, but goddamn, was he ever right!

'Serpent In The Circling' Sea features a plethora of headbanging highlights from beginning to end. Norselaw's mastery of the art of the shred, for one. Where on Earth did this guy learn to wield a guitar in such a manner? My guess is he transferred whatever skills he learned as an axe swinging viking from hundreds of years ago to his new modern day "axe". Or at the very least, he's The Doof Warrior from Mad Max... hmmm...

Up next on the docket, we have the vocals. Let's get the clean vocals out of the way; they're rough. Not bad by a long shot, but they could definitely use some refining. As for his bellowing, fuck man, if he shouted at me to, "Get out of the way," in that tone, I'd be in the next state over before he could finish his command. Motherfucker is scary.

Have I mention lyrical content yet? Norselaw pulls his imagery from everyday political strife ("fat blue line guarded by swiiiiine!"), to Conan The Barbarian to H.P. fucking Lovecraft. And speaking of Lovecraft, Fungi From Yuggoth is one of the best tracks on the album, not only due to the ever-presence of the Old Ones, but because of Jamie Lannister's energetic drumming. Guy lets his fucking hair down and says, "fuck your ability to ever hear anything ever again!" and proceeds to rupture the eardrums of anyone within range in a berserk barrage of percussive power!

If you walk away from this review and can only manage to remember one thing, make it this: Norselaw is law. These guys fucking rule!

Magister Templi - Lucifer Leviathan Logos

Magister Templi managed to sneak up on my aging ass from half a planet away (the metal hub also known as Oslo, Norway) and ran me through with their debut full-length album, Lucifer Leviathan Logos…that makes them sound more like ninjas rather than the masterful metal maestros that they are.

At any rate, Lucifer Leviathan Logos is an album that blindsided me with its modesty, purity, and, well, for lack of a better word, Mercyful Fate-iness. I was expecting more of a Moss-ish sound from these guys (which would have been awesome, too), but as soon as Master Of The Temple started up, I knew I was in for something special.

In case I haven’t made it clear over the course of the last seven years of reviewing metal, I’m an H.P. Lovecraft NUT! And any song that pays homage to The Old Ones is golden gravy in my book. And The Innsmouth Look is, not only a great musical representation of Lovecraft’s work, but it’s also the best I’ve ever heard to date (a title once held by Metallica for The Thing That Should Not Be and just about every Morbid Angel song).

The opening to Lucifer had me scratching my head for a few moments as I tried to figure out how Pantera’s Rock The World and Van Halen’s Running With The Devil somehow collided on my iPod, and after the trans-rock mindfuck subsided, I was treated to yet another instant “Mercyful Fate-y” classic (Jesus! I’m namedropping like crazy in this one, ain't I?).

Here is where I would normally start pointing out the stuff in the album that bores/bugs me. Move along, folks. There’s nothing to see here.

It’s not really easy for me to say this since there have been a ton of excellent albums so far this year, but Lucifer Leviathan Logos is at the top of my list for best album of 2013!

Magister Templi On Facebook

The Ocean - Pelagial

Yeah, it’s more of the same.

Just figured I’d come right out and say it up front instead of taking four paragraphs to get to it. But like the old saying goes, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. And fix it The Ocean don’t.

The concept behind Pelagial is that every song is named after the different layers of the ocean (descending from Pelagial all the way down to Benthic) with the tuning and lyrical content drifting on doooooooowwwwwnnnn while occasionally becoming appropriately violent. It works for the most part, but I think it might go over a lot of listeners' heads if they weren’t either A) informed ahead of time, or B) an oceanographer. Betcha know which one of those I was.

Instrumentally, Pelagial don't seem to stray too far from the usual formula of Mariana Trench scraping bass lines and wispy, progressive riffs with a mixture of ADD-addled drum work versus slow and jazzy fills and thrills. Like I said, nothing really new here.

But the fact of the matter is it don't amount to shit when it’s as good as this. The progressive side of The Ocean always seems to outshine the sludge/core aspect. This has been true from Fluxion to Anthropocentric and remains to be just as true in Pelagial. The addition of an instrumental version of Pelagial is a nice touch, albeit a useless one since the “normal” version is superior due to Loïc Rossetti's mastery of the hardcore bellow and mild clean vocals.

It’s powerful, massive, rolling, deep, and constantly changing while ultimately staying the same. It’s The goddamned Ocean.

The Ocean On Facebook

In The Silence - A Fair Dream Gone Mad

These guys must love Opeth‘s Damnation. Or maybe I just REALLY do and can’t help but think of it whenever I listen to any other kind of prog metal…or maybe these guys actually do? Meh. Either way, I’m super-stoked to share this gem of prog metal with you all.

In The Silence is a California-based quartet with one album to their name: A Fair Dream Gone Mad. And let me tell you, fellow prog metal snobs, this album is a titan! It’s got everything you could possibly want in an album: finger snapping solos (some are even thrashy), excellent drum work, fitting and hauntingly soulful vocals, and equally haunting lyrics (I’m looking at you Serenity).

It ain’t all as progressive heaven as I’d like it to be, though. The pacing kinda crashes after track #4 (Beneath These Fallen Leaves) and never fully recovers. I mean, the songs are still good, but they lack the placement and ferocity that tracks 1-4 owned. Again, not bad at all, just a little misplaced.

There’s really not much else to say about A Fair Dream Gone Mad except that if you’re a fan of heavy progressive music, you should skip on down to their website and pick up this album before they’re all gone…which they might be since I waited to long to tell you about ‘em. Try anyway. Tell ‘em Typhon sent’cha!

In The Silence On Facebook

Murder Cafe / Earth Burnt Black - Split

Oooooh! A split! To The Head Records, you are much too kind! And that’s enough of the phony baloney intro, so lets dig into the meat of this nut! This dark, gloomy, heavy as lead balls nut!

Murder Cafe, hailing from Grand Junction, Colorado. Murder Cafe starts off our little foray into this doomy split with an intro about how “Government BAD!” Yeah, I’ve never been a fan of minute long intros on splits and EPs, regardless as to how much I agree with the message.

However, the second that shit ends, we’re catapulted into a dreary soundscape of depressive doom. Oddly enough, instead of trying to claw my way out I found myself loving every second of Cloudy Waves Of Conformity. Unfortunately, that experience couldn’t go on forever and eventually the third and final track from Murder Cafe started up. Desperate Reach For The Top showcases vocalist Kyle Davis’ guttural growl, high witchy pitches, and his lounge-y tough-speaking voice. Normally, that’s a really fucking annoying thing to whip out, but Kyle makes it work. Well, they all make it work.

And call me crazy but I’m pretty sure this offering lacks a guitar! Meh. Who needs that anyway? I can tell you will all sensibility that Murder Cafe does not.

Earth Burnt Black. And now we come to the boys from Greely, Colorado. While a shit ton heavier than our previous reviewies, there lacks a certain spark in their dooooom. I’m not saying that EBB is bad at all, I’m just getting the usual comparison between the bands on a split out of the way.

First up in their bag of tricks is a song called Singularity, and I can see why. Everything is tuned down so fucking low that if you were standing between two speakers at a show and they play this, you’d be reduced to a Singularity by being crushed by the HEAVY that this song drops on all who listen. The resulting black hole is someone else’s problem.

And finally, we have Prey. Not quite as destructive as Singularity, but a whole lot more entertaining. Halfway through, EBB goes all SLUDGE out of nowhere, giving me one hell of a case of whiplash! You gotta love that.

Overall, this was an excellent split. Both bands have previously released material floating around out there that I suggest you snatch up before it’s all gone. I know I’m gonna try.

Murder Cafe On Facebook
Earth Burt Black On Facebook

The Beyond - FROSTBITEPANZERFUCK

The Beyond! Dollars to doughnuts, these guys are a Fulci inspired group and this album is a supernatural themed romp, complete with face eating tarantulas and Schweick the super corpse! I bet... wah, what? Frostbitepanzerfuck? Well, now I'm not sure what to expect from this Pennsylvanian quartet. Luckily, The Beyond set me straight seconds into the first track entitled, Roto-Cunt. It's basically a laundry list of things the missus and I get into once the wee ones are in bed (RE: anal rape, sadomasochism, oral creampies, goat sodomy... oh wait, that last one was from the next track).

It's also a bit of a tease. If you think the rest of the album is going to be a crusty, punk laden journey though the Gross Out Valley... well you're half right. The Beyond take the a hold of my expectations and violently rape the beejeezus out of them! Some songs have the humorous shit down to a science with a punk 'n' roll 'tude while others seem to be more along the blackened route by adding searing blackened screams and blistering black metal riffs into the mix.

Over and over again, I found myself trying to listen to other albums to review only to be dragged back to Frostbitepanzerfuck. Apparently The Beyond have something of a knack for writing subliminally catchy tunes. This became clear after I over analyzed why I couldn't get tracks like Attack Of the Zombie Brigade and Goat Sodomizer out of my head and came up with nothing. Leaving only literal mindfuckery as a possibility.

And for those of you that happen to be fans of that loveable shit smearing, piss drinking, cum spraying nutnob G.G. Allin, The Beyond offer up a tribute to him in the form of Cunt Sucking Animal. Filthy as fuck.

In short, Frostbitepanzerfuck is what would of happened if Anal Cunt and Dirty Rotten Imbeciles made Panzerfaust. So if that sounds like something that might get your white water churnin', then this is the filthy fucking album for you! However, if the thought of having your mind blown by awesome encrusted metal makes your dick shrivel... well then, I'm glad I don't know you personally.

The Beyond On Facebook

Dark Elite - Enter The Void (Cassette)

Thus one goes to the stars…(I haven’t read the Aeneid in ages.)

I’ve got to be honest here, I almost passed this one over without even listening to it until I noticed that Timo Honkanen was on guitar duty. His contributions to Battlelore are amazing, so I figured that would transfer over into this ep as well.

Listening to Enter The Void is like getting a guided tour of the cosmos, except that your tour shuttle crashes on a desolate planet and instead of Carl Sagan’s erudite voice narrating our journey, we have the aphotic melodies of Finnish metal outfit Dark Elite to show us the way from here to GRB 090423.

After starting things off with an intro that consists of a garbled transmission of death and doom, Dark Elite’s density pulls us in with the might of neutron star. They slam you about with a mix of scathing black metal, pummeling melodic death beats, and background ambient dissonance. For me, this five track EP is equal parts Winterthrall’s Nightmares For The Sleepless, Be’lakor’s Stone’s Reach, and Phelios’s Astral Unity (a MASSIVE compliment coming from me).

As I mentioned earlier, Timo Honkanen helms the guitar in this act. I am officially going on record and saying that I want to hear MORE of it. Coupled with Enrico Huovinen’s scorched blasting (again, I’m reminded of Winterthrall), Honkanen’s riffing paints a celestial portrait of a cold, vacuous sector of space were dark metal reigns!

As far as EPs go, this one is definitely one of the better offerings that has come my way in quite some time. Yeah, it’s a little on the short side (as all EPs are), but it gives me a good enough idea as to what to expect from this group when they decide to put out a full-length, hopefully sooner than later.

Dark Elite On Facebook

Broozer - 12x04x12

Hey hey! Grindhead Records! I haven’t heard from you guys in a grip! To what do I owe the honor of this visit from Australia’s premier death/grind label?

*Cartoonish murmurs and whisper sounds*

A SLUDGE outfit from Melbourne, Victoria you say? Color me intrigued, since they managed to find their way onto your label. There must be something special hidden between the covers of this Aztec-ian human sacrifice facade and I can’t wait to find out what it is!

12x04x12 (a quick Google search reveals nothing helpful regarding this album title so, I’ll just assume that it has something to do with the measurements of Australia’s Next Top Anorexic) is pure, high energy sludge from beginning to end that, in my experience, isn’t exactly the best choice to “chill out” with due to Broozer’s sheer ferocity.

At no point in time does Broozer give you any time to recuperate from the last savage beating (I guess you know them better as, “tracks” or “songs”) they dished out. I can see how that could get a little on the raw side for some people, but ultimately there’s no real concern for those weak-necked fools!

Retch Bile’s vocal attack is just that; an attack. His is simply the most violent voice I’ve ever heard attached to a sludge metal outfit. Bravo Mr. Bile! Also up for praise is Dario Amati’s drum work. Subtle and vicious. I have NO IDEA as to how you can make that a working combination of styles, but he does it and man, does he do it to the Moon (Keith Moon, that is). The man is WILD! Last, but not least, we come to Bruce Ibbotson and his six string accomplice; The Riffmeister General… ok, I made that up. But I’m sure he’s got an ax or two with some pretty sick names. The point still stands. The opening riff to Bland is what stands out as the shinning exaple of this guy’s talented ear for this shit. Youtube it and I’m certain you’d agree.

The only major down side to this album is a personal miffen of my own; I REALLY wish that this album was a wee bit longer. But you know me, never really satisfied… unless I am. Which I pretty much am…

Broozer On Facebook

Deadlock - The Arsonist

Whoa! I didn’t know that Spineshank had a new album out! (The only thing that keeps that joke from being perfect is female vocalist Sabine’s presence.)

I’m not really sure how to start this review off, so I’ll just abruptly dive right in; This is easily the most pop friendly sounding “metal” I’ve ever heard in my years since discovering and loving metal. I don’t like to be “that guy”, but I totally feel like him right now. After a little bit of digging, I found out that the pop element of The Arsonist is an intentional move on Deadlock’s part. My question; WHY?! Why mix water and acid? Are you intentionally trying to piss off the metal community? Or are you really trying to push the envelope in terms of creative license?.

Sabine’s vocals are pretty much the reason most fans even give a shit out Deadlock it seems, so you’d think they’d be something special, right? Well, they fit right into the pop world, but make the metalhead in me scratch to my skull! They blare our like a fog horn and overshadow the growling vocals, which by the way, are pretty damned good and feel a little out of place since the majority of the rest of the elements are radio friendly and whatnot.

In terms of instrumentation, Deadlock have this metalcore thing down so if you like synth/pop infused, by the numbers metalcore, this is the band for you and the album you should look into getting. But if you’re like me, you’ll be passing on this one, looking back on Spineshank with fond middle school memories, looking up Height Of Callousness on Spotify, listening to it, hating it, wondering why you were such a nerd and then checking out the newer Spineshank albums…

Deadlock On Facebook

Amiensus - Restoration

I'm going to go ahead and start this review off by saying that Joe Waller is a fucking genius. Everything the man touches turns to gold (making it precious METAL, through and through) and his new associative project, Amiensus, is no exception.

To me, very little is left to be discovered in the realm of black metal. It's been merged with doom, death, thrash, symphonic elements, psychedelia, progressive rock, etc....  All with significant impacts on the original genre. All becoming common place. The Amiensus collective must have sensed this disturbance in the metal ley lines and sought to restore what has gone awry with their own very personal brand of progressive black metal.

Restoration is an emotional ride through ancient icy woods that come alive when your back is turned. Song after song, you're pummeled by creatively-twisted arrangements that range from face-crushing death metal to soul-shredding black metal to...Gotye-ish indie rock? Trust me, when you hear it all mixed together it's a thing a unimaginable beauty.

You can tell that everyone involved with Amiensus has poured their hearts and souls into this recording. If you can't hear it in the shared vocal duties (easily some of the best vocal arrangements I've EVER heard are in this album), then you'll feel it by just letting Amiensus take over for about forty five minutes. It's time well spent, though I'm sure ninety minutes would have been a better estimate since you'll probably listen to this album back to back with itself.

I might be going too far in saying that Amiensus is going to be the next great Opethian experience, but I'm pretty sure that the complement is well worth the lumps I'm sure to receive for it.

Amiensus On Facebook